AWW

"Sherlyn Ho! No more dramatic ramblings like "fate has dealt me with the worst possible outcome / fishsmell is leaving me ):" okay. You make it sound like the end of the world. PLUS, I AM NOT LEAVING YOU. I think you'll be the one leaving me in the end please! I know the future is uncertain and all that, and that we will more probably than not drift apart, but I want you to know that: If I am Cristina, you are my Meredith. Hahahaha I know currently you love Cristina, but don't care, you be Meredith. xD"

hahaha cute ttm.
yea i wanna be cristina!HARD CORE!! ((:
actually thinking about it..i made it sound like fishy just got some terminal illness and is gonna die soon or something. HAHAHA
but at that moment, the naive me felt like it was a life and death issue. so its justified ohkay! hahaha

i think the only bit i find satisfying about my life now is that ive been having random shopping sprees! like yay and movie marathons (:
i think i almost exhausted all the possible movie choices except retarded ones like the last song? I EVEN WATCHED SHREK. HA! omg and i just watched prince of persia yesterday! HOT HOT HOT! EL-NINO HOT.

I LOVED him in the day after tomorrow and i love him now!!! ((:
hot guy with versatile looks. oh boy oh boy oh boy!

gonna have class outing with the class later
and i think im gonna wear my romper again.
hahahah i dun care. i look the nicest in it (:
SEX AND THE CITY 2! CANT wait.
omg i hope winky rems to bring his birthday present game so we can play at marina barrage~!

and yes. fishy.
i shouldnt be mourning like that IDIOTIC APRIL!
hahaha you are my best friend and you didnt die today (:!


<3 feeling all that much betta.

Have you lost your way?
Livin' in the shadow of the message that you made
And so it goes
Everything inside your circle starts to overflow
Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
You give back what you give away
So don't look back on yesterday

Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath

i'm afraid of making a choice.
fate has dealt me with the worst possible outcome
fishsmell is leaving me ):
ohkay it sounds retarded to say it out like that

but i think i have never really been so attached to someone except her
my secondary school days were practically exhausted in the dating arena
and i guess being single in vj was probably the smartest thing ive done so far.
cause it led me to a wonderful friend like LEE YUSIN :)

there is just so much uncertainty in my future now.
its either ntu or australia(maybe?)
either way its not exactly what i really want.
but i guess my sisters are right.
that you know, no matter what life throws at you.
ultimately you just got to make do with what you got
if im going ntu i would be the best engineer there. try and compete with ah tiongs.
and the best diagnostic radiographer in aussy! hahah
i can even wear those awesome beanies there and not look weird during winter!

but deep down i still secretly look back at the contentment i felt a week ago
when things were almost certain.
when we were about to embark on hall life together
to experience university together
to mug together?where we would be each others motivation to study!
to be able to retreat into her company and well just sit and talk
to just have a blast with my closest friend.

but [ why is there always a but ): ]
SMU would be a great place for her
and i dowanna be the one who lets her down should i go to aus.
i rather be dealt the blow than deal it.

so im trying to maintain a positive outlook now!
and on the upside. i just found out that chummy wummy got the college scholarship too
so its like yay (: cause she can be my roomie now!
even though i know it would not be the same as fishy. but i believe that it would be a wonderful experience nonetheless.
i could not have expected a better roomie besides fishy or chummy

i will try to embrace this as bravely as i can
because i know im not alone in this
i hope im right? prove me right kay (:
iloveyou!

i'm having a mid life crisis. now.
so does that mean i only have another 19 more years to live? HA
slacking at home ain't a good feeling at all D:
sure its better than slogging it out at USS (giving tuition is way better).
but i just feel that my life lacks luster, as compared to my fellow friends
i have no direction
i have no confidence
i have no friends ( ohkay not true. )

the past three days of doing nothing has made me think a lot.
about university. the course i am going into.
its not exactly what i want..i mean..i wanna be a dentist so badly! its depressing

and i secretly think i'm sick.
like ugh. i'm such a troubled kid!
WHATS MY PROBLEM. oh wait i know what my problem is
i just don't wanna face it. Now that's worse.

ohboyohboy
i need more solidarity!